Not So Great Expectations

I’ve previously made fun of the lamely named dating app Coffee Meets Bagel, but to be fair, not one guy I’ve met on there has told me he wants me to “get drunk and make bad choices,” as my most recent – and final – date from happn did within 15 minutes of meeting.

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Younger Men: I’m Not DTF

Dear Younger Men,

Yes, I’m talking to you, 26-year-old guy I met volunteering, and 26-year-old guy I met having lunch, and 27-year-old guy who contacted me on a dating app even though you’re way younger than my parameters. (I’m not talking to you 35-year-old guy I met on the app. Yeah, you’re younger than me, but you’re not that much younger.) This goes out to all the guys in their 20s who home in on me like pigeons to a poop spot.

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Nothing Happn’d

Some anniversaries are meant to be celebrated, others mourned. One year ago, desperation drove me to speed dating, and speed dating drove me to Tinder. Tinder drove me to Bumble, and Bumble drove me to eHarmony. There was a short In Real Life break in between, but not long enough to speak of, or to go out with more than one guy, who after slobbering all over my face at the end of our date professed his desire to see me again immediately, made plans for the next day, then disappeared.

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Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

I was out with a guy I discovered I wasn’t really interested in once we met up, and not just because he’d lied about his height and was probably four inches shorter than me. Towards the end of the date he suggested we play a round of “Three Questions.” We would each get to ask each other three questions, and we had to answer honestly.

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Beware the Modern Man-Troll

There is something wrong with men today. I am not being sexist when I say this, or speaking theoretically. The effect that porn – and the prevalence and mainstreaming of it – has had on sexuality, dating and the way men now relate to women cannot be overstated.

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