Eyes and ears open, legs closed.
That was supposed to be my dating motto for 2017, but so far it’s been more legs open, eyes closed. (Not sure how helpful my ears are as I know now that nothing men say on a date – especially a first date – can be trusted. I need some kind of filtration system between my ears and my heart so when I hear what they say, I don’t believe it.)
One of my readers, John, commented last week, and I quote: “It seems these retards you seem to be dating have set the bar so low you’ve just become accustomed to capitulating in hopes of striking oil.”
Ouch, John. At least it was “All said with love.”
I’ve always said that a criticism only hurts if there is some truth to it. If someone calls me a five-foot blonde, I know I’m a 5’9” brunette and will ignore their comment as meaningless. If, on the other hand, someone says I talk too fast – the criticism I’ve heard most of my life – it’s harder to ignore, because there is some truth to it. (“Too fast” is a judgment and also a matter of processing speed, but when you hear the same thing from countless people, it gets harder and harder to believe you’re right and they’re all wrong.)
And while I don’t know that I’ve consciously been capitulating in the hopes of striking oil (well said, John), I have been going against what I said I was going to do (take it slow), and I do keep hoping that this guy will be different. So I set myself up to keep having the same experience, even though I know better. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity, according to Einstein, AA or both.
Now, it’s on: Eyes and ears open, legs closed.
Happy Valentine’s Day, dear reader. Thank you for journeying with me on this rocky road.
And Happy Valentine’s Day to me. I don’t need chocolates or a fancy dinner – what I need is to give myself the gift of following my own directives. If I took my own advice, I’d be a lot better off.
While I don’t need to make opening my legs a gesture of biblical significance a la the parting of the Red Sea, I don’t need to make it as easy as taking the Midtown Tunnel. I’m looking for the Middle Way between scripture and an E-Z Pass.
I’m too old and too experienced to a be a girl who can’t say no.
It’s time to be a woman who says yes.