After my potentially Full Package Man revealed himself to be a less-than-full package, I knew I needed a break from dating. I’d intended to take a break when I deleted Bumble, but because the Universe dropped this guy in my path the next day, there was no immediate break.
It would come soon enough.
I don’t meet date-worthy, available men on the daily, so once I took myself off the dating apps and Mr. IRL disappeared, it was easy to take a break from dating.
I was busy working, doing Pilates, hiking, seeing my friends, and learning Portuguese on Duolingo (when I felt the need to be using my phone late at night). It wasn’t like I was sitting around my apartment filing my nails and eating bonbons. Nevertheless, after a couple of weeks went by, I was restless. I wanted to be meeting new people. More specifically, new men. I wanted to be going out on dates. I wanted to feel like I had possibilities.
It’s often (too often for my taste) said that when you stop looking for love, it finds you. How many times has someone said to me, “Just forget about looking for a guy and you’ll meet someone?” But how can I forget about it when it’s the one thing missing from my life? Yes, I have a fulfilling career; yes, I have close friends; yes, I know I am complete without a man. It has nothing to do with any of that. I want someone to share my life with. Is that too much to ask? I certainly don’t think it should be, or that it makes me not a feminist or somehow weak or antiquated.
I can’t just forget about it, even if I choose to put my focus on the many other things in my life.
However, I’d realized that I was looking for someone to spend my life with in places where guys were looking for someone to spend the night with.
It was time for eHarmony.