Gimme a Break

After my potentially Full Package Man revealed himself to be a less-than-full package, I knew I needed a break from dating. I’d intended to take a break when I deleted Bumble, but because the Universe dropped this guy in my path the next day, there was no immediate break.

Jean Harlow Bonbons

It would come soon enough.

I don’t meet date-worthy, available men on the daily, so once I took myself off the dating apps and Mr. IRL disappeared, it was easy to take a break from dating.

I was busy working, doing Pilates, hiking, seeing my friends, and learning Portuguese on Duolingo (when I felt the need to be using my phone late at night). It wasn’t like I was sitting around my apartment filing my nails and eating bonbons. Nevertheless, after a couple of weeks went by, I was restless. I wanted to be meeting new people. More specifically, new men. I wanted to be going out on dates. I wanted to feel like I had possibilities.


It’s often (too often for my taste) said that when you stop looking for love, it finds you. How many times has someone said to me, “Just forget about looking for a guy and you’ll meet someone?” But how can I forget about it when it’s the one thing missing from my life? Yes, I have a fulfilling career; yes, I have close friends; yes, I know I am complete without a man. It has nothing to do with any of that. I want someone to share my life with. Is that too much to ask? I certainly don’t think it should be, or that it makes me not a feminist or somehow weak or antiquated.

I can’t just forget about it, even if I choose to put my focus on the many other things in my life.

However, I’d realized that I was looking for someone to spend my life with in places where guys were looking for someone to spend the night with.

It was time for eHarmony.

eHarmony Wingman

This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. Are any major goals in life attained when you’re not actually making an effort? Perhaps, but I think it’s pretty rare.

  2. Hope eHarmony turns out to be better for you than Great Expectations was for me in the ’80s. I’m at a loss as to where people looking for a permanent serious relationship meet each other.

    1. The current climate definitely encourages short, non-serious relationships. In a swipe-culture world, there is often the perception of someone “better” just ahead, and it all seems easier than it is. I haven’t a clue as to how anyone these days decides to settle down with just one person.

      I wonder what it means for the very young people of today — what will the romance landscape look like in 20-30 years? Will “romance” be an antiquated term altogether? Will we all exist in the matrix and have numerous, meaningless affairs with various avatars?

      Stay tuned…

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