Waiting for Superman

In addition to many men with many tats, Tinder offers many men in Superman shirts. They must each think it’s charming and unique, unaware of how many other guys had the exact same idea: posing in a Superman t-shirt with a white button down partway opened on top of the tee, as though they’re in the process of transforming from Clark Kent to Superman at that very moment.

Superman

His main profile pic was this same, overdone shot, but I was still relatively new to Tinder and thought it was cute, if not unique. His other pics were the funniest, most visually witty shots I’d seen on there – including a play on the ubiquitous topless bathroom selfie virtually all men post. He was sprawled out in a chair in the backyard wearing an open brown bathrobe and boxers with his gut hanging out, reading a book, with his feet up on a toilet that for some inexplicable reason was in his yard. That made me swipe right more than anything else. That and his last photo, which was a chart indicating the differences between Your and You’re; They’re, Their and There; We’re, Were and Where; Then and Than; and Two, To and Too. That stole a grammar nerd’s heart.

Grammar

His first message said:
What kind of trouble are you getting into this weekend?

Cute, right?
I don’t know, what did you have in mind? I responded.

He told me that he had a photo project he’d wanted to do for awhile using glow sticks on the beach at night to write in the sand. That’s creative, I thought.

Sounds fun. When were you thinking?
He said Saturday.

Right away he asked me to do something interesting, he made a plan and he picked a date. According to Aziz Ansari’s brilliant, hilarious and regrettably relatable book Modern Romance, which I’m currently engrossed in, those are the only messages that result in actual dates: a clear ask for a specific activity on a specific day. Seems simple, right? Yet the majority of Tinder texts never get there.

 

Does this plan involve cocktails?

When I asked this, it was a perfectly innocent question from someone who enjoys a good cocktail or three, especially on a first online date. What I didn’t realize is that he was trying to plan a free date, and I made him get his wallet out. But he manned up and did it.

 

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