Gentlemen (and you really don’t deserve that title based on what I’m about to say), why are you still sending dick pics to women you meet online? And I mean women you meet online only, whom you haven’t met in real life and now will never have any chance of meeting IRL once you have sent your offensive selfie of something that you are so much more mesmerized and fascinated by than we will ever be?
Let me be clear: I don’t want to see your dick before I meet you. In fact, I don’t want to see your dick until we are at an appropriate moment for it to come out, and that moment will probably never come if you don’t have the judgment and self control to date like a gentleman.
I’m amazed and baffled that guys are still doing this. You’d think the initial thrill of the transgression would have worn off after their first few months on Tinder or whatever app let them bombard women with unsolicited and unwanted pictures of their private parts. (They’re called “private” parts for a reason, by the way.)
So this is my question: Why? Is it the thrill of the transgression? Is it a testosterone-boosting power play to say, “Hey, I can make you look at my dick whether you want to or not?”
Is there some man out there who thinks that his penis is enticing enough that a woman will actually respond to his dick pic – which always comes like a slap in the face, unexpected and a little painful – by rushing over to his place to jump on that bad boy because it looks so big and juicy? And if so, brother, puh-lease. I don’t think there is a woman in the world who would do that, unless she is cracked-up, methed-up or has a financial transaction in mind.
The women using dating apps like Coffee Meets Bagel don’t seem to me to be the jump- -on-the-dick-pic kind. The sad thing is, the app did not let you send pictures until recently, and now that it added that function, this is how men are choosing to use it. Lowest Common Denominator.
It really does make me want to stop using dating apps altogether. But I’m actually trying to understand why men do this. I posted a query on Twitter and got no responses. Maybe it’s a stupid question, but it’s such a prevalent phenomenon that it seems worth asking.
I was chatting with a guy last week who looked really cute, and I’ll admit I was little excited about him. I shouldn’t have been, considering he started his convo with, “Hello, Luv,” then soon asked me what I was doing and if I wanted to come over. It was not yet noon. I laughed it off and said that I wouldn’t be coming to his place and didn’t consider that a first date, then we bantered a bit more.
Then he sent me this message: “Don’t be scared,” immediately followed by a picture of him naked from the waist down lying on his bed.
I wasn’t scared; I was mad. And insulted. Of course I immediately blocked him, but that was where he had to go with our chat? Our very first chat? Why? What was he expecting I would do in response other than block him?
So maybe dick pics are a big fuck you? They’re just another way that men are telling us they still have the power over us and they don’t want to actually meet us or date us, they just want to get off in some immature way by making us look at their dicks? And that’s enough to make them happy, at least for a brief moment?
I just don’t get it. But it’s enough to make me unhappy, and for more than a brief moment, as it gets harder and harder to believe there is anyone decent online actually looking for a relationship.
Compared to what I hear and read, I’ve gotten very few dick pics in all the time I’ve been online dating, so I guess I should consider myself lucky. But what does that say about our dating culture and about men’s basic respect (or lack thereof) for women the fact that so many women have a phone full?
I still haven’t heard of a woman sending a man she hasn’t met an unsolicited vag pic. And why would she? They don’t deserve to see our sacred vaginas any more than they deserve us to spend another second of our time on them once a dick pic has been received. Not to mention that if one were so inclined to send a vag shot, in today’s climate, men would just judge our pubic hair or our wax job, judge the shape and appearance of our labia, judge if our pussies were perfect enough and plastic looking enough, like the Barbie “clamshell” pussy now coveted in labiaplasty plastic surgeries. But that’s another topic for another day. It’s a good thing we don’t have the desire to share unsolicited pussy pics because we certainly don’t need one more criteria on which to be judged.
But men, I am judging you for sending me those dick pics. No matter how attractive you may find your dick to be, you are an objectively ugly man. And it has nothing to do with the appearance of your penis.